so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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