She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Who died my cat blue again?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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