ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
