Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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