It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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