shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize