Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
