I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
