so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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