I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
