I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
