just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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