I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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