Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
