I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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