you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
