porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
