I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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