Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize