That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
