Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
