Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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