Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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