my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
