Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i barfeds in our rink
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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