If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
