I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
