Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
