i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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