did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
