Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
