the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
