Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
