1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
