What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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