There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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