My room smells like vodka and shame
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize