this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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