Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
