I've blown a few things in my day
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
