I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
