so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize