As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
wow bdsm is so cute
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
