I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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