i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
