I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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