so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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