I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
