who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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