i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
