STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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