I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
