i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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