i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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