she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
