He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize