you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
