ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize