what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
