At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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