Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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