**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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