Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
