the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
