im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
