He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
