it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize